Non-spoilery version? It was okay. Should you see it? Yes, of course, but be aware that it isn’t really finished and you’ll still have to go see the third one to find out how the story really ends. Despite this, the movie is long - much longer than it ought to be. In many places, it could do with trimming out several minutes of excess running around like idiots. Other problems include muddy audio (the Cajun woman is almost unintelligible most of the time) and a Star Wars Prequel-ish focus on special effects.

The problem with sequels to unexpectedly successful movies is that suddenly, they have more money for the budget and they think that means they should use it for all the stereotypical Hollywood “blockbuster formula.” Big explosions? Check. Digital critters? Check. Fancy camera work? Check.

Notice that I didn’t mention story, there. Hollywood “blockbuster formula” almost always forgets the story. The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl worked because it was a good story. There was good versus evil, and the good guys won in the end. That’s the foundation it needed. Johnny Depp’s portrayal of Captain Jack Sparrow (and Geoffrey Rush’s portrayal of Captain Barbossa) made it come alive, but neither could have saved a lousy plot. Dead Man’s Chest isn’t lousy, but the story is thin, stretched across too much time through special effects and gags that run way past the point they stopped being funny, and someone needs to tell Hollywood that “tune in next time” doesn’t really work with feature films unless they’ve been set up as a series in the first place. Some of the plot points happen “because we wanted it that way” and without much explanation, and the after-the-end-of-the-credits clip is predictable and not really worth the trouble of staying to see it.